The Rosen Report Has Found Trump's "Burner" Phone, For Sale On Ebay. Huge Bombshell Scoop, Partial List Of Missing Seven Hours Of Calls Right Here--

The Rosen Report has it!

This is a breaking and possibly true but not entirely "fact checked" story--

1:37 pm: Call to Tom Brady, asks advice on how to get through Capitol Police defenses to get to Mike Pence.
1:58 pm: takes call from Kushner, denounces him as schmuck, says "see, you idiot, THIS is how you win an election, not with your vershtunkener "peace deals."
2:15: Calls friend Vince McMahon, CEO of WWE, asks if he can get some of his people down there. "I wanna see someone nail Pelosi with a "Sleeper hold" from off the top rope. Maybe a metal chair." McMahon hangs up.
2:37: Calls Ivanka back, "don't worry your pretty little head baby girl, daddy is taking care of everything, and when this is all over daddy is gonna take care of you...I'll make all the bad men go away, poopsie-doopsie. And tell that stupid f**k husband of yours to lose this number and destroy his phone, pleeeaase, baby."
3:30: Tries Vlad's burner again, leaves 8th voice-mail, irate because the Russian Wagner Group guys are late showing up. "WTF Vlad, I thought your ex-Spetznaz people were supposed to be the best...I'm stuck here with a bunch of religious nuts and some guy wearing horns dammit! I need some pros down here right away before the Guard shows up!"
4:10: Calls David Portnoy of "Barstool Sports" Pizza review. " Dave, Trump here, look I need you to deliver me one of those pies from DiFara's like right f**king now, I got a urge. And none of that 7.8 sh*t, tell 'em if it ain't 9.4 I'm sending it back". Asks him to place sports bet on the spread between Tampa Bay and the Giants.
4:45: Trump calls Rep. Paul Gosar, converses in fluent German. "Siehst du, Der Führer hatte recht Paul, alles läuft zusammen, so wie wir es in brasilien besprochen haben." (trans. "You see Paul, everything is coming together, just like the Führer said it would when we talked in Brazil").
5:10: Takes call from Rudy. "Again, you dago creep, you're asking me again, today of all days for your billable hours fees, go f**k yourself. You need money so bad, go do another commercial for Four Seasons Landscaping. I hear their sex toy shop next door has 20% off while you are at it." Hangs up, muttering "he thinks he's getting paid, hahaha. We'll see what happens."
Dinner break, has DiFara's extra cheese but it's soggy, too much "flop." Tries to fire Portnoy, who doesn't work for him.
7:01: Calls McCarthy. "Kev, sorry to say, but you guys blew it with Pence, now you got to go do the job yourself. My people planted the piece behind the toilet in the men's room. Quietly tell people you gotta' take a leak. Make sure you find it, I don't want you coming out of that toilet with just your d*ck in your hand. And don't forget the Cannoli."
7:54: battery in burner is dead. Screams at Meadows "whaddaya mean you forgot the charger! Gimme your phone, idiot. (ring ring)... yeah, Clarence, Trump here, Ginni back yet?"




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