Glossary for "Woke" and Milennial expressions for Boomers--



Consider this an assist in navigating the wakes and eddies of modern popular culture. Feel free to use these expressions liberally, and without shame. 


"I can't even"...  not tonight, I have a headache

"AF"...After Football. I'll mow the lawn AF, ok?

"Adulting"...trying to clear your browsing history after spending three hours on Pornhub.

"Cancelled" ... your last option for reigning in your kid is to cut off their phone service.

"Binary"...attempting to have sex twice a year.

"Non-binary"...getting rejected for sex twice a year.

"Ghosting"...bringing up your dead Mother-in -Law during an argument with your spouse. 

"100%!" ... the increase in allowance your kid will demand in their senior year.

"Thirst Trap"...posting selfles on Instagram of yourself dehydrated in the ER with an IV in after your first attempt at jogging in 18 years. 

"Feels"... what is happening in your lower Bowel after attempting Gwynneth Paltrow's Peroxide and Truffle steam Colon Cleanse.

"It Me"... letting your hair grow out and combing it forward in the style of Cousin It from the Addams Family. 

"Swol"... a bottom feeding Fish which when broiled in butter and fresh Thyme pairs well with a California Chardonnay. 

"Literally"... something not even remotely close to true, an expression which your kid will use as emotional leverage in a negotiation. "You will literally destroy my life if you don't let me borrow the car to buy Beer for this party." 

"Shook"... your emotional state when you realize you can't button your pants. 

"Do it for the views"... interchangeably used as encouragement to post nonsense to attract attention to yourself, or description of a peeping tom who takes up Parkour as a hobby to explain why he is out on the roof so often. 

OK, got all that? 100%!

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