Biden On the Phone With Vlad-- The Valentine's Day Edition

 Joe's convo with Vlad, earlier today---

Blinken: Joe, I got Vlad on line one, you available?
Joe: Yeah, yeah. Put him through. (Sigh)
Vlad: Yo Dudeski, how's it hanging?
Joe: What?
Vlad: Sorry Joe, I work on American idioms little bit.
Joe: Look Vlad, I'm up to my neck, and the Dog has to go out, could you make this quick?
Vlad: Oh cute! Donald not have Dog, just Son-in-Law.
Joe: Vlad! Get to the point, will ya'?
Vlad: Ok ok, relax. I get call from "you know who" today.
Joe: Oh for fucks sake, now what?
Vlad: He call to tell me he fully exonerated yesterday and now is lock for Prezident again 2024.
Joe: Alright, and so...
Vlad: He tell me he don't want wait four years, wants back in sooner because he tired of Golf already.
Joe: And....
Vlad: He ask me for write him instruction book on how to make Coup and punish enemies. I only man he trust to help him. Lawyers all fuckheads he say.
Joe: Oh my God, it never stops. Did he offer you something in exchange?
Vlad: Yes, but is embarrassment.
Joe: (deep sigh, throws Major's leash to Blinken, thumbs toward outside) Please, Vlad. Just tell me.
Vlad: He say when he get back in, we get Alaska back. He really want to fuck over Murkowski, you know ?
Joe: (eye roll) Why am I not surprised? Look, Vlad, I appreciate the heads up, Its good you called me, I'll take that under consideration when we go to the EU about sanctions. By the way, are your Press Corps people over there out of jail yet?
Vlad: No not yet, but we let them send out for Domino's, they much happier now. Everyone complain about Prison food.
Joe: Not good enough, you better get your act together. Now look, I have an idea on how to handle this thing with Big Baby. You got a Pencil?
Vlad: Yes, right here. This going to be good. (chuckling)
Joe: Ok, you're gonna send him a manual. You ever read the "Matarese Circle" by Ludlum?
Vlad: Oh yes! My favorite ever! I cry like baby when KGB man Taleniekov set himself on fire at end.
Joe: Ok. So I want you to get a translator on it and put it into Russian and an edited English version. Make it look real. Except, instead of the fake President look-alike, that would be me, being an Agent of "Per Nostro Circulo", he works for China, ok?
Vlad: Okaaaaaay...
Joe: ...and instead of Scofield, your lead guy is Michael Flynn. He can be both the Hero and the Russian Spy. Since he's one of yours anyway...
Vlad: Hey hey, stop right there. (Grumbling) What else?
Joe: So, tell your Tovarich that Scofield's ie: Flynn's plan to infiltrate the White House and remove us all is your plan. Write a few Proud Boys into the story, just make sure they're FBI informants. Tell him to go with that. He'll love it. Its got violence, Russian Spies, blowing shit up. Maybe some sex. They'll send these idiots over and we'll have our people roll out the Red Carpet over them.
Vlad: You think he falls for this?
Joe: You really think you're getting Alaska?
Vlad: No, guess not. Okeydokey, we see what Tomorrow brings...(singing) Tomorrow, Tomorrow...you know my favorite song from "Annie." You ever see live performance?
Joe: Yes, have you?
Vlad: I kind of sneak in when there in 80's, I was in deep cover.
Joe: Shit, I never knew that.
Vlad: Da! I take Donald and Ivana out for Dinner and show. Your guy Unger miss that one in new book on Kompromat, Haha! (Hysterical laughter)
Joe: Alright Vlad, are we done here?
Vlad: Yes, I think so. You are pretty good Joe, you still sure you don't want change teams? I could use you.
Joe: Nah....I'm from near Philly. We bleed Green, not Red.
Vlad: I hear they suck now, Wentz leaving.
Joe: Very funny Vlad, gotta go now, and thanks for calling. (Click)

Popular posts from this blog

Today in History, July 17, 1918- Czar of Russia and Family Executed

Image
Today in History, July 17, 1918, Execution of the Romanovs, the Czar and Czaritsa of Russia and their Children by the Soviet Government. Today in History, July 17, 1918, Execution of the Romanovs, the Czar and Czaritsa of Russia and their Children by the Soviet Government. By July 1918, Russia was engulfed in a hellish civil war which would cost millions of lives and damage a country already reeling from the devastation of World War I. Swept away in this hellfire was the old Tsarist monarchy, last headed by Nicholas II. Nicholas had abdicated in 1917 as the Russian Revolution swept through the nation. Since then he had been a prisoner of successive governments, first the Provisional Government and then the administration run by Vladimir Lenin and the Bolsheviks. The Romanovs were shipped from place to place, eventually coming to Yekaterinburg in April, in the Urals, an area known for its hard Communist sympathies. As the White Russian forces grew closer, Lenin and his associates ordere...
Read more

Milton Friedman- The Man Who Revived Fascist Economics, and Called It "Freedom".

Image
  You may have heard the name before, as he was featured in a PBS Series, titled "Free To Choose", also the title of his most famous and misnamed book. He was a prolific author, and widely publicized by Conservative News Media and Magazines, especially by the followers of William F. Buckley. In fact, Milton Friedman is the current top economic advisor to the so-called "movement conservatives", from Nixon to Reagan, to Newt Gingrich and Trumpworld,  and is still to this day the main architect of the GOP approach to dealing with the present economic crisis, though he has been keeping a low profile. A very low profile. In fact, six feet under. He is currently dead, and has been for 14 years, yet his horrific philosophy continues to stalk about, haunting us like the living dead animated by a Voodoo curse, burning live Chickens, chanting incantations, and propitiating the irrational forces of Britain's Adam Smith and his "Invisible Hand". (Which is the hand...
Read more

How Do You Know If What You Are Reading Is True Or Useful? - A One Year Old Facebook Post

Image
 How do we know whether what we are reading is true, or for that matter useful? There are many journalists in the US today who are not only excellent writers, but are just good people. They are well informed, have the best intentions and are highly professional.  I have to force myself to write, and it comes with great difficulty because I am blocked, and had little journalistic training. Without an editor I feel lost, and feel as though I want to rewrite everything or throw it out after I read it. Reading books and articles is my favorite hobby, and when I'm doing that I am in my happy place.  As of now I have 30 News and Magazine sites bookmarked and I read them everyday as a routine. I usually read anywhere from 2-10 articles in each, depending upon what newsworthy events are breaking that day. Plus I have a number of books on history that I have going at any one time. This is no big accomplishment or unique, it's just how I occupy my time and is my form of work these ...
Read more